its time to say goodbye

well kids the time has come for me to move on to bigger and better things as Kelsey has mentioned about 5 million times now..the real world hoboken cast is splitting up, I'm not really good with goodbyes but peace out bitches its been fun.



as for the people who read this blog (the heroes) i would hope you will follow my new baby and see what kind of crazy shit ill get into

http://thekidinnyc.wordpress.com/


KID OUT!!

SPACE CAMP

Caroline: "I met my first love at Space Camp" (See above pic)

We then proceed with an hour long convo about Space Camp...

Kelsey: "Wait, do you really get to go to Space?"



Enough Said.

SPACE CAMP!!

PINK DOLPHINS?!

WHAT?!

There are PINK DOLPHINS? Why didn't anyone tell me this before?! I LOVE dolphins and I LOVE the color pink!

Thank god for Fuck you, Penguin, or else I would have never discovered pink dolphins!!

xoxo,
Kelsey

Kiss me, I'm shit-faced

Apparently those marks on our arms are the number of beers we drank on Unofficial. Please note I have approx. 3 marks and my arm, and I've already got the Dolces and my drunk-face on! I have my mother and GT to thank for my light-weighted-ness. And I'm 50% Irish....I would NOT make my grandfather proud....

BTW...Drake's shirt says "Kiss my left nut, it's Irish" and Jor's shirt says "I'm not Irish, I'm Mexican! But I found these in your yard!"

They have me to thank for finding those awesomely funny shirts!

xoxo,
Kels

this song blows me away

Ive always love this song...but i listened to it today and it just consumes you i think its the ultimate war/action/drama/emotion filled track.....take a listen......the actual name of the song is "Lux Aeterna" but most people know it from the movie requiem for a dream and the lord of the rings movies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Ma4BvMUwU

I just had to do this....and so did they

OK first of all is it me or does Kelsey seem kind of hung up on this whole "break up"? its like its over toots GET OVER US WE DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!!


yesterday i got off the bus in front of our apartment and who do i see walking out the front door? none other then the 3 stooges ( kels,drake and Hallie)...so at first i give them the shout hooooody hoooo, hoooody hoooooo...no response so i think ok well ill start running, but as im running i think ill scare the shit out of them!

so just as I'm closing in on them drake turns around but it was too late he had no time to warn the girls so i yell GIVE ME ALL YOUR SHIT FOOLS!(in my most gangster ass voice) Kelsey and Hallie literally go flying they were scared as SHIT.....a few OMG LOL'Z AND HAHAHAHA'S later we keep walking

now the girls got way ahead of drake and I..meanwhile drake and I are talking some real deep shit you know, beer,bitches and SPORTZ..when we start walking up some stairs and i hear this wa wa wa wa sound..it sounded like a rabid dog coming at us all i could think is fuck I'm gona get bit...but NO it was Hallie and Kelsey jumping out from underneath the stairs

not gona lie they scared the shit out of us...tushay ladies tushay indeed


kid out

Blog blog blog

Since the Real World Hobokeners are breaking up, we've all decided to have our own blogs. Apparently, Jorge's new blog will be called "My life as an almost New Yorker." I'm sure Drake's will have something to do with sports. However, I cannot think of what to call my new blog!

I walked into the living room to ask Drake if he had any ideas. His response: "Andrewisthecoolestguy in the world blog" and "Blog blog blog blog." Ok, not helpful!

If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!

BTW yesterday I decided to mark on my arm how many beers I drank at Unofficial St. Patrick's Day. In permanent marker. I have about 15 marks on my arm, although I don't think I drank THAT much...I'd probably be pretty sick if I did. Anyways, I can't get the perm marker off of my arm now. I really amaze myself sometimes...

xoxo
Kelsey

just 2 bros putting on a fake fight

soooo today was the wonderful day known as hobokens unofficial st.pattys...and one keg and six 30 packs later I'm happy to report it was a BLAST....and YES i managed to make a fool out of myself well sort of....there was that whole thing where this 1/2 Jewish 1/2 Asian chick said to me ur probably just one of those guys that has a thing for JAP'S and my response to her was actually my dear i have never had a fetish for Asian women...she then looked at me kind of pissed and walked away...so I'm all like what ur the one who brought it up!..well i later put it together that she by JAP'S she meant " Jewish American princesses"....MY BAD..i thought it did sound a little racist of her but oh well haha.


any ways on to the main event..I'm chillin in carols room with her friends linlee and Kristen when we hear carol and dort yelling at each other i decide to investigate..dort tells me they just be clowning...and then we decide we should pretend were yelling at each other and somehow it all turned into me pushing him into the room throwing a fake punch...then like a true artist he made a " i just got stuck noise" and flew onto the bed i then jumped on top of him and threw 3 or 4 more fake punches...Kelsey jumped on my back and is all like no no no get off him..drake and carol are in awe and there yelling dude stop it...this is extra classic because drake was passed out and woke up to this...so hes in his boxers only...dort and I get up and bow!


LEGENDARY

the more important question...

so all day or all week drake has been really concerned with this whole "who watches the watchmen" deal...the more important ? in my mind is who is going to watch drake on st.Patty's unofficial tomorrow?? there is going to be some heavy boozing going on and any one who knows drake knows that hes a BIG PUSSY and cant really handle his liquor so odds are hes passing out by 10 am.


lets face it the once self proclaimed king of the U's hottest FRAT HOUSE couldn't even hang with a retirement house these days...here's to hoping i don't wake up only to find drake hugging the toilet

Hoboken St. Patrick's Day

Tomorrow is Hoboken St. Patrick's Day. Basically, it's the only day when people like Curd make the JOURNEY out to Hoboken, NJ (it's literally a 5 minute bus ride).

I've heard estimates that 1 million people come to Hoboken for this day (keep in mind Hoboken is about 45,000 people). While I'm not sure that this number is accurate, there are truly a shit load of people that come for the parade and all day binge drinking.

Last year was a blast, and I'm sure that tomorrow will not disappoint.

- Andrew

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Doherty and I are going on a double date with Kelsey and Hallie to see this in about 2 hours. It's opening night, and I'm really excited. WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN??

- Andrew

today this made me giggle

these guys are really funny first they made a vid about drake and now i found this hope u guys enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRv_WCScCyg

Breaking up

Well, we all knew this day would come...

Unfortunately, the Real World: Hobokeners are splitting up. Sad, but true. Drake and Jor are moving in with our good friend, Fossum while Caroline and I will acquire a new roomie.

Get ready for fun new posts about our roommate search...we already have a few prospects from ROOMATES.COM!!!!!!!!!!

So exciting. It's a new era.

xoxo,
Kelsey

i guess sometimes i forget.....

so yesterday as I'm riding the 6 train i look over to my left and i see a group of what appear to be Brazilian kids holding a map discussing where they might go next...and to my right an Asian couple also holding a map...now i can assume both groups where tourist as they were decked out in I love NY tee's and of course hiking backpacks and YES fanny packs....and i couldn't help but smile and think to myself WOW I live and play in the greatest city in the world.


I guess sometimes you get so busy with walking faster then the crowd so you can get on the subway only to get out and walk even faster so you can get to your destination, that you forget to enjoy your surroundings...at least I do sometimes.....so what I'm getting at is that people come from all corners of the world to enjoy what i get to see everyday and if I don't slow down every once in a while i might miss it.



I LOVE NY

kid out

Wandering Eyes

So sometimes during the work day, I take an hour off and head to the gym. Today was one of those days. Unfortunately, after my workout, there was a little sit-u that I am less than pleased with.

I'm completely positive that today was the first time that a gay man checked me out in the locker room. I was walking to the shower post-swoll-session in my striped pink boxers. STUPID ME FOR WEARING PINK BOXERS!

Anywho, I had a slight inkling that this firecrotch checked me out on the way to the shower. To test my hypothesis, I was curious to see what would happen 5 minutes later when I was out of the shower. Sure enough, same kid still sitting there dicking around putting his clothes on. He looks at me again for sure. To top it off, I pass by him and I stare at the mirror that I am walking towards. And whose wandering eyes do I see turning my way in the mirror? Sure enough, the firecrotch was still interested to see what was cookin on my end.

The Cliff Notes version of this story is summed up like this.. Back in 2k6, The Crew all knows that I had girls in different zip codes. Whether it was the Bel, Ill State or The U, I was like Jake with 17-year-olds! Haha, bust you Buddy. Nowadays however, it seems that I've got guys in different zip codes. From Justin in the 07030 to this new mofo in the 10022, this shit is getting ridiculous.

- Andrew

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-U

So as many of you know, I truly despise Indiana. Not only the state, but the university as well. Coincidentally, Caroline is from the shit hole state, but Kelsey CHOSE to attend school there. All the more pleasure for me to write this about I-U.

Please read this article and try not to laugh. It's tough..
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Indiana-promotes-manager-to-yes-play-basketbal?urn=ncaab,144306

Yes, you read correctly. Indiana's student basketball manager is no longer picking up towels, he is shooting 3's and shit for their awful basketball team.

Sometimes, you have a shitty day, but you read something so pathetic about a school you despise, and everything just seems to turn around in an instant.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-U.... SUCKS.

- Andrew

He is cute right!? So cuddly.

sometimes people are stupid...

so the above is a picture of a 12 year old boy that caroline hooked up with at the bar last weekend...he had a REALLY good fake i.d...this picture i stole from carolines phone he took it and sent it to her


any ways when we met this kid at the bar he came up to me to inquire about caroline and the convo went something like this...

KID-dude is that ur gf?

ME- no man shes my sister

ME- but shes effing HOT u should totally do her...she puts out

KID- oh sweet man thanks, ill go talk to her then



later on that night i almost killed the kid...but thats another story for another time

kid out

this is real

so a while back a friend of mine introduced me to the magic that is bacon salt...if your a fan of bacon like i am you have to try the stuff, so today i was thinking how good that bacon salt would go with my eggs so i went to there website http://www.baconsalt.com/...and come to find out they also make a bacon spread called baconnaise this sounds to good to be true i know but its real...im going to have to order some and report on the taste

they made a video about drake

seriously this is scary the whole thing is drake all over haha enjoy folks


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEVdca9U9LM&feature=channel_page


kid out

47 foot 3-point Shot

Assuming most of you haven't seen this, I thought I would post the clip of the last 2 seconds of the New Jersey Nets/Philadelphia 76er's game last night. The game ended by Devin Harris hitting a 47 foot shot at the buzzer to win the game..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0afz7lz7KGM


Pretty nuts.

- Andrew

Jorge getting married

OK so Ive never been one for this whole marriage stuff...but then i met her..she was everything ive ever dreamed of funny,ridiculous,insightful she made me feel alive again..her name is wife swap marathons..i have recently become addicted to this show because i haven't found a job yet and i have nothing to do all day long besides send out resumes go on interviews and YES watch wife swap marathons...i assume most people have a list of what they look for in a wife/husband..ive taken the liberty of making one as well and i would like to share it with you

1.must be willing to go on wife swap
2.must have at least one leg/arm or any combo of the two
3.must be able to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich whenever i want one

so if this describes you and you want to meet up email me(with pic) @ chanceofafuckinglifetime@gmail.com

movie magic

what up heroes...who are the heroes u ask??..the people who read this blog i answer...any way this weekend was a blast even our grandpa drake raged till 2 am then decided to spend the night at the port authority bus station and finally woke up to make it home by 630 am...630 am happens to be the time I finally made it home and to bed it was one of those weird nights where u so effing drunk u lost track of time..so Saturday our resident cat lady carol and I decided to take it easy and go to a few movies(Rachel getting married and the reader) both awesome btw..so we decided to buy ourselves a child's ticket @ 9 duckets instead of the adult for 12.50..well we got caught and were told to go back downstairs to buy the regular adult tix..after we explained ourselves to the guy he said he would have to refund the child seats onto the credit card and then charge us all over again..but then apparently he got irritated or something and said fuck it ill just give u the effing tickets!!...moral of the story here is that when u lie,cheat,steal and scam ur way into movies u get rewarded with free movie tickets


kid out

Update

It's ok Drake - before you get your panties in a bunch, remember that the Oscars happen in late February and Heath Ledger died in January of 2008. Therefore, Heath was included in LAST year's tribute.

Speaking of Oscars - things I am in love with right now:
1. Kate Winslet
2. Dev Patel
3. Harvey Milk (alright, I guess I have to give little credit to Sean Penn here - used to think he took himself too seriously but now I am on the Penn train. Woot woot!)
4. Little Indian children!

Things I hate right now:
1. Nearly every actress' dress last night - ew!

I nearly completed my feat of seeing 8 films in 7 days, but alas, I missed out on a few (thankfully none of the big winners). Mark my words though, I will still see Rev. Road, Doubt, Benjamin Button and Frost/Nixon.

Oscars

So Hallie, Jorge and I were watching the Oscars last night, and one thing struck us all as REALLY odd.

Did anyone else notice that during the segment where "everyone that died in the past year" was shown, Heath Ledger WAS NOT shown? I mean, I realize that he had already won an award earlier, so he was obviously discussed there, but I felt like his picture should have made the cut in that segment, too.

The Oscars are kind of boring. Not sure I'll be tuning in again.

- Andrew

Working on Sundays

I put in 7 freaking hours at work yesterday. Yesterday was Sunday. I hope I don't have to do that for a long time again.

- Andrew

have a buck?..how about a banana

so this past sat we again got out asses kicked in our hoboken football league, but at least it was a really fun game, any way were watching tv when on comes a sonic commercial..now at first the commercial upset me because i love sonics but there isn't one any where near here....but then we spotted the funniest thing Ive seen in a long time sonics has a fucking BANANA on there dollar menu haha how awesome is that

V-day 2k9

This afternoon (approx. 4 pm) I did the walk of shame from the West Village back to 'boken...


... it's not what you think. No, I did not get lucky on V-day.


This was my first V-day (and in case you were wondering, when I say V-day, I mean Valentine's Day...NOT Victory over Japan day...just to clarify) without a boyfriend in a LONG time!!
And it was GREAT!

Now, I've never been the type of girl to be bummed out about being single, in fact, I really enjoy being single. However, I was a little disappointed at first that I didn't have a "valentine." I'm pretty sure all women are hard-wired to believe that they NEED someone on V-day...which is TOTAL bs!

Then after last night I realized I would MUCH rather:
1) Share an entire bottle of wine during He's Just Not That Into You with Jor, Jenny, and Caroline
2) Eat guac w/ the rest of the group at Dos Caminos
3) Have beer tube races at 123 burger, shot, beer, whateverthefuckit'scalled
4) Bring a dog (Phoebe!) into a bar
5) Spend the night at Caroline's sister's with Jenny and Caroline
6) Watch TV all day
7) Order Grey Dog and have the guy tell us "The Splendas come separately, so you can do what you want with those Splendas"
8) Do the walk of shame home from the West Village

Never again will I be concerned about the fact that I don't have a boyfriend...

at least until next V-day! (jk!)

xoxo,
Kelsey

I had an accident.

So yesterday, I had an accident. And by accident, I mean that I basically pissed myself. First time that's happened in what, like a week? That shit ain't cool unless your Billy Madison in the 3rd Grade.

I was in the bathroom at the stand-up-john, doing my thing. Anywho, I thought I was done so I tucked it away. Turns out the the one-eyed-monster had other ideas when I realized that I just peed some more. Now, I had real problems. I don't know what I was thinking by trying to look all nice for my meeting. Wearing tan colored pants? EFFFFFF! Sorry for going all Hollywood on you...

I did a b-line to the stall to figure out my next course of action. What the EFF do you do when you piss you're pants at work? I mean, I had a good sized spot that I had to deal with. After a few minutes of hoping it would dry (which was unsuccessful), I decided that I was gonna hall ass to my office and pray for the best (nobody seeing me with pee pants).

SUCCESS! I made it to the office, turned on the fan, and it was gone in like 2 flat. Ain't no thang.

Moral of the story is, if you ever pee yourself at work (and aren't wearing my now-standard adult diapers), just pray for the best. Because usually, you're fucked.

- Andrew

Funny things our friends say...

I would like to add to Jorge's last post:

"If it looks like I'm scratching my ass, it's because I AM scratching my ass!" -Hallie on scratching her ass...

"I think I really need a vacation, because I thought Guac and Margs were a couple you were happy for!" -Jenny commenting on a message I sent about eating guacamole (guac) and drinking margaritas (margs)

"Do it! JUST DO IT, unplug it...unplug it...UNPLUG IT!" -Caroline trying to get some dude to unplug his computer on the bus on the way to Boston.

"Sorry you got accosted!" -Andrew Arrington talking about rude men in Boston

"RELAX toots, you're still drunk!" -Matt Curd

"I think he goes through photosynthesis" -Andrew Drake

"Kelsey, let's go lay out and gather our thoughts" -Eric wanting to tan, like always

"Don't tell your Dad I use tanning lotion, he'll think I'm gay"-Eric, again, on his obsession with being tan

"I like that hyp-notic-notic" -Kristina attempting to sing the lyrics to "Run it"

"Let him try the beer! He's a beer connoisseur!" -Jessica on letting Jorge try the beer that they brewed

"You're not that cute and I'm not that drunk!"-Jorge to the girl who licked the window

"Spotted: Matt Curd being COOL on the UWS" -A druken text I sent out


More to come...once I think of them!

xoxo,
Kelsey

kids say the darndest things

so i was thinking just now my friends say allot of stupid/funny/random things so i decided to share some of them with you hope you enjoy


"you know who his SOUL MATE is its LUCY LUCY"- Kelsey thacker commenting on who she thought the love of my life was-(i dont know a lucy)


"I'm not a GF i just F alot"- Caroline sweet yelling random shit out

"i don't want my dad to have facebook, its cool if my mom has it because shes not a pedophile"-Hallie Stephens telling us her dad is a pedophile?-

"that shit looked like roast beef aju" -Joe Flynn describing a girl he had hooked up with-

"do you ever wonder if people can survive on just freeze pops? i bet people do" -Amber Morris trying to convince you can live off of freeze pops-

"ill buy you what you want girl designer glasses,clothes a HOUSE whatever you WANT!" -bob gates rapping his love to some skank-


" I wish i could be in the circus also i wish could be a pirate arrrrr" -Amber Morris expressing her desires to be a circus performer and a pirate-


i have like 5 mill more of these but ill save some for later, i think these are funny and if you don't ill have to assume your a terrorist...and you don't want to be mistaken for a terrorist do you??

KID OUT

EE is an awsome name...and his poems arent bad either

Plus he looks like a total bad ass...i think its the cig...any way for those of you who care(and im not one of them) V-day is just around the corner personally i think its a fools holiday where you just spend alot of unnecessary money on a girl/boy your more then likely not even going to date in 1 year and worse he/she will HATE YOU but any whoooooo I thought the fans might enjoy this poem ive always loved it I think its beutifully writen so enjoy!

- i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


kid out

The events of this past weekend...

As this weekend quickly approaches, I've realized that I have yet to blog about my last FABULOUS weekend! (Actually, I've realized that I haven't blogged in awhile...)

Since we all HATE to read long and tedious blog posts, I will supplement each detail of my weekend with a picture. Here we go:

Friday:

First, Jessica and I made a trip to the public library (not as big on the inside as we thought)


Next we ventured a few blocks over to St. Patrick's Cathedral where we discussed our views on religion...

Then things got interesting....

We then went to this adorable little wine shop to hear Dr. Ruth speak about her new (sex) book (and drink free wine, of course!)
Now if you don't know who Dr. Ruth is, you are living in an effing hole! She's this 80-year-oldasfuck sex guru! And she's HYSTERICAL!
After that we met Justin at a cafe/wine bar and had dinner and, of course, more wine. I then proceeded to go back to Hoboken and get completely annihilated (so much for my New Years resolution...)

Saturday:
Completely hungover. Played football. Got tackled by some crazy girl. Got huge bruise. (Which I am very proud of thankyouverymuch!) blah. blah.

Went and saw Push w/ Drake, Jor, and Matt

Not the best movie of all time...but ok, whatevs....

Tried to sneak into Milk...

...chickened out and left

Went to German Beer hall w/ Jess, Jor, Justin and several others

Got pushed out of my chair by rude German dude

Some slut licked the window trying to flirt w/ Jor

Went to a gay bar


Sunday:

Completely hung over...once again....

As always, I expect this weekend to be just as (if not more) eventful.

xoxox,
Kels

WTF??

OK so for those who don't know I'm a huge OBALLA! supporter always have been always will be but last night he made me question what kind of man he is and i feel its my duty as an American to out him...let me explain..caroline and I are HUUUUGE how i met your mother fans and we've been catching up by renting all the old seasons from netflix(if you have yet to discover netflix ur missing out start living people) and last night i recorded one of the new episodes on our DVR and carol and I decided we were ready to watch a new one only when i turned on the recording we found that baracks press conference had taken over the usual time slot so it NEVER RECORDED!....consider me pissed at obama...infact barack YOUR ON NOTICE! keep going down this slippery slope and you could become DEAD TO ME! consider yourself warned sir.

want to buy me something?? i NEED this

so in case you suck at life...(and if you read this blog you don't because only awesome people are allowed to read it...we have a way to keep losers out) you have heard of the phenomenon taking America by storm known as a snuggie blanket https://www.getsnuggie.com


let me guess you think a REGULAR blanket is good enough right?? well wrong i thought the same thing but the infomercial made me see that all these years my hands have been trapped under this "regular" blanket not allowing me to reach for the remote,phone or playboy i keep stashed under the fu with out leaving the warmth but now with the snuggie i can reach for whatever i want without leaving the warm zone i know AWESOME!

so go ahead and treat me to a snuggie and fuck it buy one for your self 2...they come in 3 LEGIT colors..burgundy,royal blue and sage green...oh and don't be busters like justin and jessica get me the real deal not one of those knock off brand snuggie they got at there app....i cant believe you two would buy a knock off snuggie, what did you think i wouldn't find out?? I'm to upset to keep going


kid out

youre not that cute...and ive NEVER been that drunk!

so me kelso,justin and jessica went to this German beer hall in the east village called zum schneider (http://www.zumschneider.com/karneval2009/beers.html) check it out if you like beer and if you don't ill have to assume your a Communist...so yours truly was en fuego with the ladies on sat unfortunately they weren't very attractive but they were still in fact all on my titties so first i go up to the bar to buy myself a beer when this girl ask me if she can see the menu with me i say sure why not.. next thing i know she orders me a beer i was like sweet and walked back to my table she wasn't cute enough to stick around but thanks for the beer! i don't really remember her name but I'm pretty sure it was TOOTZ yeah that sounds right....


now a few hours later and about 10 beers later we look out the window and theres this bird standing out there and she gives me the finger, i laugh about it and then she starts making sexual gestures with her tongue she even went as far as to lick the window the convo we had via writing on our phones and putting them up to the window went something like this

(me=jorge, cd=random cum dumpster outside the bar justin=friend typing on my behalf)

me-would you like me to give you the D?

cd-yes definitely come outside and follow me home

cd-hurry up I'm horny

justin-he will only come if you deep throat..those are his conditions

cd-haha well tend to choke on HUGE items..but quit being a pussy and come outside

cd-are you going to man up or are you a pussy?

me- well your not that cute and Ive never been that drunk!

so there you have it kids..also jessica was kind enough to take a pic of me and cd...to show you how much of a dumpster she was but she hasn't sent it to me yet so ill have to post it up later


kid out

Eff my life

Kari sent me this AMAZING blog today called F*** My Life (check it out: http://www.fmylife.com/ ). It is HYSTERICAL, so I have decided to base this blog on the website. Instead of F*** My Life, it will be called EFF my life...so here it goes:

Today I found out that you have to be drug tested to become a dog walker. EFF my life.

Today I discovered that someone has been fraudulently using my credit card and now I have to cancel my account. EFF my life.

Today I realized that I have applied for over 100 jobs and have only had 3 interviews. EFF my life (or the economy)

Today I slipped on the ice outside of the tanning salon. EFF my life.

Today I discovered the DVR didn't record Rock of Love Bus. EFF my life.

Today I spent $100 at CVS. EFF my life.

Today I realized that I live in JERSEY. EFF my life! (J/K it's not so bad!)

xoxo,
Kelsey

One of the many problems with advertising..

So I work in advertising. For those of you who don't know (probably like only one of you), I work at DDB New York. EVER HEARD OF IT? If you haven't, you've probably been living under a rock. If so, watch the new show "Trust Me" on TNT. They talk about DDB like every other word. They suck on DDB's knob like it's a lollipop.

Anywho, advertising is a shady freaking industry. The way "big news" is passed down to the plebeians who work at the office is through one of two ways..
1) Adage.com
2) Adweek.com

Yup, that's it. The advertising industry is the adult version of Gossip Girl.

Today, we found out through Adweek.com that we will be having a new Executive Creative Director at my office. About freaking time.. but honestly, is this how BIG NEWS should be passed down to us?
http://www.adweek.com/aw/content_display/news/agency/e3i265790c0e524ea2ba1ab3af6aef94f4b

I wouldn't bring this up if this was the first time either. We found out in 2007 that we lost the Subaru account through Adage.com. Yup, the circle of fucking life. Fuck you Simba.

- Andrew

Bebop and Rocksteady

Man, I don't know about you, but I miss these fuckers. Sometimes I wish I was 18 again..

- Andrew

the kid strikes back

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Allow me to re-introduce myself

OK first things first let me say hello to the fans and of course the LADIIIIIIIES...i know you have all been patiently awaiting my arrival to the blog and I'm happy to be here and pledge to keep the fans entertained with as many stories as possible. now a few things you should know about me and my "stories"

A. All my stories are based on a *ACTUAL EVENTS*

B. I like to talk allot of shit and by allot i mean ALOT..but and this is a big but its all for show like my idols Bill Orielly, Shaun Hannity and Ann Coulter I'm not meant to be taken seriously, its all just a big joke..satire if u will...any one who takes me or any of the previously mentioned heroes serious is just a moron

C. Before you read any of my post you need to ask yourselves one very important question...wanna live?? i make all the dumpsters i bring back to the fu ask themselves the same question




** actual events may be largely exaggerated to make events funnier and more entertaining


the one and only kid out

DRAKE CAKE'S!

All my cousins came to visit for my birthday weekend!!! What an unexpected surprise!!!

- Andrew

You know what I just realized...

the average age in our apartment is 23.25. YUCK! Seriously, we are old as EFF!!! Good thing I'm here to lower the average...but the rest of you make me sick. I can handle Jorge being 23...but Drake and Carol...24? REALLY? This is stressing me out...I already had an almost-quarter-life crisis when I turned 22, and in 4 months I'll officially be OLD...but you guys make me feel older than I already am. Now I've gotta start worrying about things like botox and osteoporosis. Thanks a lot jerks!


-Kels

Jersey in the HOUSE! (as of tomorrow)

Tomorrow might be the single greatest (or did I mean worst?) day in the short history of our RealWorldHoboken blog. Why you ask? Because tomorrow we will be re-graced with the presence of one Jorge Sierra-Mist. Yes, THEE Jorge Sierra.

The prophesy has come true. Jorge is returning from his winter "vacation" in chilly Belvidere, IL (Kelsey, Jorge and my hometown). The self-titled "King" is back.

Future topics that I'm sure our resident Guatemalan will address:
1) Being THAT GUY at the bar (for reference, just view the picture above of Jorge passed out while standing on the subway, and me looking at him and thinking, "Yup, saw that one coming.."
2) The non-white perspective on Hoboken. He will surely discuss sombreros, riding donkeys, chalupas and futbol GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
3) Being a Jersey-look alike, yet not being from anywhere close to here. Note the one earring, tanned skin and generally decent "guns" from this picture. Oh and the use of "Broski" a lot when he isn't passed out on the subway.
4) Beer pong skills? Who needs 'em?!! Just pretend like you have them and talk REALLY LOUDLY about it!
5) And last, but surely not least.. The art of getting less ass in our apartment than Matt Curd. Simply impressive. I didn't know you could get negative-ass, but somehow, Jor proved me wrong on Hoboken Stint #1.

It's one small step for our blog, one giant leap (of faith) to let him be apart of this.

- Andrew

Hoboken Football - Week 2

Saturday was Week 2 of Hoboken football, and it was cooooooooooooold. My God I thought ma nuts were gonna freeze to the side of my left thigh.

Unfortunately, we slipped up and lost 24-22. After building a lead of 16-0 early in the first half, we did practically nothing the rest of the game and lost a tight one. We are now 1-1 on the season, tied for third in the tough-as-nails "Blizzard" division.

Game Highlights:
Look, there aren't highlights when you lose. Foss might try to tell you differently, because he thinks he's the fucking man and everyone should know it, but that shit is whack. If there was a hero, it was probably the ref for counting a late, long touchdown pass from me to Curd that brought us back in the game. Their team was flat out positive that my twin brother Adam (visiting from Chi Town) was on the field as our 9th team member. Their team was guarding Adam (who claims he was indeed out of bounds and not in the play) and consequently left Curd wide open. However, the play stood and got us within two points. It went for naught as we failed on the 2-point conversion.

Low point of the game:
Coury - got beat by a girl AGAIN this week. Unbelievable. If I have to hear one more time how "he has two younger sisters, so he goes easy on the girls," I'm gonna fucking snap. I swear to God.

Week 3 brings renewed hope though. We play "Devin Pavel" who is also 1-1. However, they have only beat the worst team in the league so, we are looking to get above .500 FaShow.

Do you smell what I'm cookin? We are gonna smoke these ass holes.

- Andrew

This shit ain't gangsTa

So today I turned 24.. And as you can tell from the picture, I'm truly old as fuck.

It's truly depressing when you hit your first birthday that doesn't matter at all. I thought that birthday was when I turned 22, but fear not all you soon to be 22-year-olds, 24 blows a much larger dick.

When you are 22, you can still go out and booze with the best of them. When you are 22, you still have a semester left of college (aka getting rocked and sleeping with loose woman such as Caroline). But when you turn 24? What's the best thing about turning 24 you ask? You have ONE YEAR LEFT until you get a discount on your car insurance. Yup.. there it is my friends, the BEST THING about turning 24.

Oh you ask what kind of car do I have? Well I live in the greater-New York-fucking-city-area people. This means I don't even have a car. So that shit on my 25th birthday? USELESS.

So here's to you Mr. newly-minted-24-year-old.. You're old as fuck.

- Andrew

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRAKAPLAKIA!!!!!!!!!

You're old as shit, dawg. Congratulations!

xoxo,
Kelsey

Updates from Sundance

Hello from Utah!

Things have slowed down here a bit... but that really exciting thing that was supposed to happen the other day did no happen :( I was supposed to meet Ben Affleck. Below is the photo of him taken 10 minutes before I arrived on the scene.

BUT I did meet John Krasinski today, so that totally makes up for it! Check out the facebook pic to come.... yeah we totally boned.

My world crashed down around my shoulders last night when I caught TOPANGA smoking!? Topanga can't smoke! She is supposed to do weird things like put lipstick all over her face, but not SMOKE!

Also last night I finally found out how random makeouts happen at bars. Ya know those ones where you know you made out with someone, but are not quite sure how it happened? Well, I was working at the club late night (so not drinking, stone cold sober) and I did a lap trying to find Jay from The City and see if he was on any girls. All of a sudden, some wastey man PULLS my ponytail from behind, and I mean YANKING it very hard. He pulls me all the way back and starts making out with my head. I finally fought him off and ran away (with a bad headache) and it dawned on me - that is how it happens! You just literally make out! No lead up, no conversation, just a look and a makeout. One of life's mysteries finally solved.

There are some very graphic stories I will not share with you now, but let's just say some Oscar-winning actor did something very private with 6 women at the same time in front of a whole club. I will let you imagine. ICK!

And PS Drake - really awesome people never have to toot their own horns. You must be overcompensating for something and I have an idea of what it is!

The Truth

This is what Jorge said to me on the phone the other day..

"You're the only one keeping this blog together. Seriously, you've been on fire on that blog."
- Jorge Sierra

I know, I know. I'm trying to get the roommates to be funny/post about things that people actually care about. It's challenging at times for me. It's hard being the lone funny person on a 3-person blog as well as put the other two bloggers on my back.

Sometimes, your best isn't good enough.

- Andrew

Things we learned from reading Drake's post...

1. He is in love with Andrew Foss



... That's about it. I ran out





Now on to more important things - I know you are all desperate to find out how I am doing at Sundance! Well, I basically sit in a chair all day and credential people/have then yell at me when they are not on the list. Fun huh? I did have a guy offer to put me in a movie if I just sped the whole credential process along. The girl I was running check in with basically told him to "fuck off", so that is the end of my movie career.



Later we found out that guy that we told to fuck off was the man who inspired the role of "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski. Whoops!



Today, Pedro from Napolean Dynamite asked me if we could ever escape check in and hang out with him at the night events and then Matthew Lillard from Scream came in and was tweaking out about the touch screen computers we had. Weirdos... but all very nice! Maybe tomorrow I will escape from my desk for a moment and check out some of the other stuff going on/have some A-list sightings that everyone else seems to be having.



I will keep updating and posting pictures of cool celebs. Fingers crossed that this major thing happens for me tomorrow. I can't tell you what it is yet, because I will jinx it, but life changing would be a good way to describe it.

Hope all my peeps in Hoboken are doing well, and so sorry I am missing Alex's visit! Been wanting to meet that twin of Drake's, Alex, for so long. Next time!

Things we learned last night..

So last night, we learned a few things. Specifically:
1) Foss really sucks at wii bowling
2) Because of Foss sucking at the game, he lost a bet and now can never change the wii character that we created for him. His wii name is "Angry Foss." The shoe fits.
3) Johnnie Walker Green was a great substitute for Johnnie Walker Gold. The Gold was shockingly out of stock, so I settled for the 15-year-old scotch as opposed to the 18-year-old stuff. I'm sure it tastes about the same in reality.
4) Foss correctly said that I could not handle the "Hard" level on Guitar Hero World Tour. I just am not good enough YET.
5) Foss forgot my twin brother Adam's name about 4 minutes after meeting him. He referred to Adam as someone by the name of "Alex" on multiple occasions. Foss is stupid. Throw rocks at him.

I'm sure there will be more things we learn from Adam aka "Alex's" first time visiting me in the Big Apple.

To be continued I'm sure..

- Andrew

Blogger's-Block

So I'm sure you're probably wondering "Where is Kelsey?" "Why hasn't she blogged?!" (or you could probably care less). Well friends, I have SERIOUS Blogger's block. I honestly have NOTHING to blog about. Here are a few things I've considered blogging about:

-My (unsuccessful) job search (ugh, lame)
-Scotty too hottie (who's already been blogged about by my obsessive roomates)
-My New Years Resolutions (again, LAME)
-My new found addiction to running
-Blogging about blogging on my blog in the blog-o-sphere. (Blog is such a nerdy word..I love it! Just say it...BLOG blog blog blog)

Ok, so basically nothing even remotely exciting has happened in my life recently. Hopefully this weekend will be eventful and I will have plenty to blog about next week. Until then...

xoxo,
Kels

Scotty Too Hotty, part deux

If having sex with Scotty is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

- Andrew

Scotty Too Hotty - Jersey's Finest

If you don't know Scott from a "A Double Shot at Love" with the Ikki twins on VH1 you should. You should also probably facebook friend him immediately and invite him out to Hoboken to go drinking with you. Then, I am guessing he would facebook chat you back and say "Sounds good, I am down." Then you and your male roommate will argue over who gets to hook up with Scotty first. Not that I know from experience or anything...

Jealous!?

Hoboken Football - Week 1

So Week 1 has come and gone, and we are 1-0.

We played a wonderful game in very snowy conditions, and I believe the final score was something around 47 - 13.

Game Highlights:
Foss - 3 TD receptions, 2 interceptions on defense (Week 1 MVP)
Me - 5 TD passes, 1 rushing TD
Betsy - had an interception for a TD on the 2nd play of the game and had about 5 catches on offense
Curd/Kim - TD reception each

Low point of the game:
Coury - got burned by a girl for a TD late in the game


Looking forward to Week 2, we play a team who also won last week. Their team name is "We Probably Beat You." I think they are going to change their name after this week. Trust me, we are less than scared.

It's on like Donkey Kong.

- Andrew

If only dreams were real...

Anyone who knows me well should know that I have a tendency to have crazy, very vivid dreams. I have done everything from consult the Army on buying new tanks to watch my mom slice her hand open with a knife and proceed to drink the blood after dipping her hand in chocolate. Yes... they are very strange.

You should also know I am obsessed with Ben Affleck. I will not go into it, but trust me, the obsession runs deep and has lasted for 12 years now.

The other night, I had perhaps one of the best dreams of my life. I hooked up with Ben Affleck and apparently this was not the first time - we were having an affair of several months. He said if it weren't for his two kids with JG he would totally leave her for me. Never mind that in the dream his oldest daughter hated me and my mom walked in on us in the act and gave me a lecture on morals. Those are minor details. Point is, I win Jennifer... he likes me better. HA!

Sledding is for people over 2 years old

Over Christmas break, I took my nephew Issac sledding. That is the face of shear terror.

- Andrew