Merry Xmas aka TRUTH DAY

So according to the movie "Love Actually," everyone must tell the truth on xmas. Here it goes...brace yourself:

Things I am most thankful for since moving to NYC (in no particular order):

1. Swedish Fish
2. My friends
3. Sample Sales
4. My parent's support
5. Coffee...more specifically lattes
6. Being healthy (minus the 15 lb weight gain...workin on that...)
7. Joshua Tree
8. Themed parties
9. Pilates

In all seriousness...I am extremely lucky to have such amazing friends. Without you guys, I would have had a really hard time in NYC. You've made this transition fun and interesting and have really helped me to grow up (well, kinda grow up! haha).

Sorry to get all weird and emotional, but hey, it's xmas and you MUST tell the truth!

And for those who didn't know...Christmas has been moved to Dec. 29th this year along with the premier of BROMANCE. (According to a drunk Andrew Drake...)

Feliz Navidad!

xoxo,
Kelsey

BEARS

So the Bears had one of their greatest victories ever last night. And it was over the hated Green Bay Packers. Amazing.

One Vikings loss against the Super Bowl Champion NY Giants and one Bears win against the mediocre Houston Texans, and the Bears somehow win the NFC Norris.

Oh, and Curd's Lions are about to become the only team ever to go 0-16. Ouch.

- Andrew

JFK drama and fat pigeons

Yesterday, I decided that it would be a good idea to go to JFK early to try to get on an earlier flight. I wanted to make it to Chicago in time to attend Andrew's frat's ugly xmas sweater party. I went to the airport around 3 o'clock and asked if I could fly stand by on an earlier flight. Of course, all of the flights were full and there was no room on stand by. So, I checked my bags and sat down with my computer, prepared to spend the next 5 and 1/2 hours in the airport. After contemplating for about 2 hours on whether or not to get drunk alone, my mom calls me and tells me my flight will be leaving at 10:30 pm instead of 8:30 pm. Great...so I get to sit in JFK for an extra 2 hours. I sign on to facebook and see Rachel's facebook status: "Sitting at JFK". OMG!!! I immediately comment on her status and tell her I am doing the same. She then IMs me and we find out we are on the same flight. YAY! A drinking buddy!! I walk over to where she is sitting and we decide it would be a great idea to do a terminal 5 bar crawl. We sit down at the first bar, order a drink, and have a conversation with a drunk, awkward man. My mom then calls to inform me that my flight has been moved to 9:20 (good thing my mom is on top of these things and still watches out for me, or else I would be screwed...). Rachel and I then have to scramble to get our things, pay for our drinks, and run to our gate. We board the plane, happy that our flight is taking off "early" when our pilot informs us that we have to switch planes. So we get of the plane, and go to the new gate. We then have to switch gates two more times. By the time we get to our last gate, it is 10:30. Ok, so I start to hope that we will leave soon. We board the plane and the pilot tells us that our plane must be de-iced and it will take about 10 minutes. Ugh. Ok whatever. Two hours later (at midnight) we FINALLY take off. We land at O'hare around 2:30 am. I've definitely missed the party. :( I then called Drake about 10-15 times and of course, his drunk ass doesn't answer the phone, so I just take a cab to his parent's condo. When I get to the condo, I ask the doorman for the key, and he tells me he has no key for me. GREAT. Now what. I call Drake about 10 more times and he FINALLY answers and tells me just to come upstairs. I then proceed to go upstairs and pass out on his couch.

But, after all of that, I am home in one piece and hating the fact that it is -20 degrees out.

BTW...

Me and Drake saw the FATTEST pigeon today! He kind of looked like this:


xoxo,
Kels

I love that...

...when you buy cold meds at CVS, you get a receipt with a warning that says you must be 18 to purchase cough medicine. Are teens really getting loaded off of cough syrup?! Don't they realize how easy it is to get REAL drugs....

totally kidding


xoxo,
Kels

Miss me?

I have been a bad blogger lately... they are going to vote me out of the apartment. NOPE! They can't, I am too cool.

Anyways, I want to share with you a new obsession of mine - Dexter. That show is amaaaaazing! It is totally creepy and his sister is an anorexic, 12-year old boy looking, no talent bitch but the show is incredible. It is about a serial killer who was adopted by a cop when he was around 6. The cop trained him to channel his urges and only kill bad people. And now he works for the Miami PD as a forensics specialist.

Everyone who reads this, buy a box set of Dexter (it's on Showtime) watch it now. SERIOUSLY.

Also, the SAG Award nominations came out today and I have decided that I have to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk and Slumdog Millionaire before the new year. I better get on it!

Fiber 1

Oh and Carol...you better not leave those Fiber One bars out...I may eat the whole box again...

xoxo,
Kelsey

Weird...

Wow! It's been awhile since I've blogged! Maybe it's because my new boss, Richard, has been making work too much. (J/k...thanks Richard for temporarily employing my broke ass.) Anyways, let me say...the universe is weird right now. Strange things have been happening and everything has just been...well strange! haha! We've come to the conclusion that it is because there was a full moon Saturday night...and you know what that means....(right Hal? haha). It's been really hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit this year. Maybe once I go home it will feel more like Christmas. More importantly though, the premiere of BROMANCE is on Dec 29. Drake and I will definitely be having a Bromance premiere party...I am counting down the days. (You may be asking "What's a BROMANCE?" You're gonna have to take that one up with my boy Brody)

xoxo,
Kelsey

The Gauntlet

So yesterday, the recession gauntlet finally came down on the DDB work staff. For the second time since I've worked here, we had layoffs.

Layoffs really suck. I feel incredibly bad that one of my good friends at work got his pink slip. I even feel bad for the one creative that I truly despised that got laid off. He's got kids you know? He has to go home and have the, "what are we going to do?" conversation with his wife. How awful is that?

They just leave a sour taste in your mouth.

I hope that I never get laid off, but being that I'm in advertising, eventually I will probably run into it once or twice. That's truly scary.

- Andrew

Hilarious!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/12/14/bush.iraq/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

Christmas throw up

Overall, I would say the Ugly Xmas Sweater Party was a success...

-I spent $60 on Jager bombs (typical)
-Lost my Dior sunglasses :(
-Did plenty of dancing :)
-Spent the night at Emily's West Village STUDIO apartment along with 7 other people...

We're good at cramming as many people as possible in small spaces. I really think we need at least 5 more roommates.

xoxo,
Kelsey

Dream

So I had the weirdest dream last night!! I dreamt (is that a word?) that besides paying our normal bills, like electric and cable, we had to pay a gravity bill so we would have gravity in our apartment. And Marco sent us an e-mail saying that we didn't pay our gravity bill this month so he was going to have to shut off our gravity. Just thought I'd share my weird dreams. Gotta work!

xoxo,
Kelsey

Per Rachel's Request..

Rachel has asked for more posts. And as it is near Christmas, I must do the following:
- give gifts
- tell the truth (reference: the movie Love Actually; they say it way too many times and it doesn't make sense to me)

So here it is.. I am giving Rachel the gift of more posts. At least 5 a week. That's the truth.


In all reality, the Real Worlder's have known that this day would come for a long time now. It was only a matter of time.

We are thrilled to have loyal followers of our venture into the blogosphere.

- Andrew

BIG BEARS WIN

So Kelsey, Carol and I were with many of you last night at Rachel's going away party. We had a great time with all of you there. However, nothing could have compared to the excitement of that Bears' win last night.

For those of you living under a rock, the Bears won 27-24 in OT. These are all the things that happened because of Robbie Gould kicking the winning field goal (reference above photo):
- The Bears moved to 8-6, which keeps their playoff hopes alive
- Foss owes me $10 (as he bet on the Saints to win the game; idiot)
- And the Bears defense was torched by Drew Brees and especially Pierre Thomas, which really helped my fantasy team out

As you can guess, I was freaking thrilled. I took a sick-day-Friday in celebration (I'm actually sick). Dort, you better have taken yours like you said you would.

- Andrew

Kelsey....

LOVES the fact that both my roomates are in this room with me being weird as FUCK making me laugh....AND I think Carol needs to post on this blog more often cuz she's like 10 times funnier than me...for example:

ok can't think of anything right now cuz i'm DRUNK...


but...

TRUST ME

She's funny as fuck....

AND

She knows where Chuck Bass lives...

I'm OBSESSED...he's got SWAGGER

xoxo,
KELSEY

Actually, it's about love

Curd...This one's for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou-7lYjK8ro


"I HATE Uncle Jamie!"

-Kelsey

Richard

Gotta give a shout out to Richard Ludlow. He's helping us make the blog even nicer.

Thanks for the help Richard.

- Andrew

Oh and..

Kelsey works harder on this blog than she does her job, so for those of you that read this, you should be happy about that.

- Andrew

Answer

God knows that no real burger place would ever serve "veggie burgers."

- Andrew

Mission impossible

Tonight me and Carol went on a special mission...I can't say what it is yet, but it was unsuccessful. However, we did see Regis Philbin and Will Smith. We then went to Red Mango (yum). Anyways...check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUiXJ-F5QAw

we love Lincoln Hawk!

xoxo,
Kelsey

Boston...rude as FUCK

I haven't blogged in awhile, so let me start with Thursday night:

Thursday night me and Drake went to the Nascar party at Marquee. Jeff Gordon rolls in and of course, I have no clue who he is. Drake recognizes him from sports center and tells me to go take a pic with him. I did not believe it was him because he was so f-ing SHORT!!! So I walk over and politely ask him if he'd take a pic with me. His response: "yeah, ok whatever." WHOA...short man syndrome! Whatever dude, here it is...

This weekend Hallie, Carol, and I went to Boston to see Andrew Arrington in the Grinch (BTW he was AMAZING!) and to visit w/ Lauren Spahn. Before we left for Boston on Friday, we came to the realization that every statement is 10 times better if you add "as fuck" to the end. So all weekend we were:

-Fat as fuck
-Drunk as fuck
-Tired as fuck
-Fucked as fuck

you get the gist.

Anyways, men in Boston are RUDE!!
Friday night when we got in, we went and got a few drinks (BTW bars in Boston close at 2...last call at 1:30..LAME!). Hallie and I were walking back to Andrew's hotel and these two large, bald guys come up to us and say "You girls wanna be in a movie?" Ummm noooooo!!! We walked away from them and they say "Fine, you were ugly anyways!" OMG rude!!! Saturday night, after Andrew's show and dinner, we went out again. After trying to get a cab for HALF AN HOUR, a guy walks up to me and goes "What are you doing? You're going to get killed! Are you trying to get a cab?" I respond, "Yeah, and I'm fine, thanks." Hallie then walks over to where we're standing and the guy goes "Where are you girls from?" She goes "We're from Chicago, but we live in New York." and he says "Well I can tell you live in New York, you're pretentious like you live in New York!" Hallie responds "We're not pretentious, we're just cold and trying to get a cab!" and dude says "Well your friend here is a bitch!" I started laughing and was like I didn't even say anything to you! And he walks away and goes "Whatever, ho!" Which makes me laugh even more because who calls anyone a ho anymore! I then respond to his comment by saying "Whatever, you're old as FUCK!"

Other than being insulted by rude men, we had a blast! :)

-Kelsey

Also

I have decided that we should share with you (the three of you who read this) videos and links we find humorous.

First example below (Thank you Kirstin!):
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones

Question

Are there veggie burgers?

So my buddy Jim at work has been hyping up this place called "Burger Joint" for about a year now. Burger Joint is in the "le Parker Meridien" hotel in Manhattan. Yes, it sounds as nuts as it really is.

Basically, there is this shit hole burger stand in like this corner of the Meridien lobby. See the Meridien's pool in the picture above. The rest of the hotel seems just as nice.

I was slightly skeptical of what we were going to find when we got there (PS: we had put this trip off for about a year since we never can take off for a long lunch). Travel time was about 15 blocks each way.

Sure enough, in the corner of the main lobby, there is a line of people standing and waiting to get in to Burger Joint. Unreal. It's practically hidden from the hotel and all you see is this little sign of a burger (image above).

Moral of the story.. the food was awesome. Go there, you will be happy. Wait time was 45 minutes for us to get up to the counter. It is a free-for-all for seating, but we got a table. Burger and shake was $12.50.

You're welcome,
- Andrew

Ahhhh the nostalgia

I am not going to touch upon the Kelsey being gullible situation. NO words... I am however going to say that I am a big fan of The Clapper. Yesterday, a commercial for a remote control clapper came on TV and Andrew decided that anyone who had or supported The Clapper was retarded. I informed him that part of one of the best years of my life I had a Clapper and it brought nothing but joy into my life.

I lived in a quad (4 girls mind you who all could have lived separately but chose to live together) and one of the girls (Kraus I believe) brought in a Clapper from home. Now, they tell you that to turn the lights on and off you have to clap, but what they don't tell you is that yellling obscentities really loudly also works. The whole house may have thought our room had Tourette's but getting it to do the strobe light is a priceless memory. SHIT BITCH TITS ASS!

Listen...

I am neither dumb, nor gullible...I am just very trusting of my "friends"

xoxo,
Kelsey

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII U

Forgive my roommate Kelsey. She failed to explain the 12 floors things, at all.

Basically, one day we were discussing the apartment building that we live in (keep in mind that Kelsey had lived there for MONTHS by this time).

With little to NO effort on my part, I convinced her that there were actually 12 floors in our building. This was reinforced latter when Carol got home and Kelsey said something like, "Caroline, do you know that there are 12 floors in this building?"

Now if you look at Exhibit A from Kelsey's post below, you will see that if you are standing outside our building, you can CLEARLY see that there are only a few floors.

Sometimes, I am dumbfounded that she made it through college. However, then I remember that she went to Indiana Junior College, and it all makes sense.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII UUUUUUU. (sucks)

- Andrew

12 floors...

12 Floors.....It's legit...right?

xoxo,
Kelsey

More importantly...

I don't understand that football language Drake and the guys speak...so more importantly:

-A new Gossip Girl is on tonight
-Hallie is coming over
-Me and Caroline can continue to gross Drake out by talking about woman-ly things.
-My hangover is finally gone!

Perfect!

xoxo,
Kelsey

The day the season ended..

For me, the important things in my life follow this order..
1) Eating
2) Sleeping
3) Fantasy Football
4) I think that's it.

Sadly, barring about 9 touchdowns between Maurice Jones-Drew and Matt Jones tonight, my season with my friends has ended. After starting the season 3-6, I needed to win 5 straight to have a chance at the playoffs. I accomplished victory in the first 3 weeks getting to .500, but I am going down in flames this week.

Until next year my friends.. until next year.

- Andrew

It's offical...

C-line is crazy. She is dancing around our apartment singing wicked. And I don't mean just one song...I mean the ENTIRE musical...every part. I'm pretty sure our neighbors are going to call the cops in about 5 minutes. That's all.

xoxo,
Kelsey

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

OK - I realize I am little late on this, but anyone who knows me knows that in my terms I am basically on time. Hope everyone had an amazing break and was able to RELAX a little!

Now back to the Sunday blues (lessened only by the bottle of wine I have and the fact that the Colts won).

-C-Line

Century 21 can KISS my ASS!!!

EVERYTIME I go to Century 21 it's an ordeal! I swear the people working there are the biggest idiots I've ever seen! Really? How hard is your job? Anyways, I picked my sister up from the airport (and by pick up, I mean I rode the E train all the way to Jamacia, met her and rode it back). We came back to the apartment, said goodbye to C-line and her sis, and ventured to Century 21 to do some major damage on our mastercards. After exploring the store for about an hour and a half, we took our findings to the cash register to pay. I put the Marc Jacobs boots on the counter, and the cashier told me I had to pay separately for the shoes downstairs...ok fine. So I told Kendall to pay for the rest of our things upstairs while I went downstairs to purchase the shoes. I walk downstairs to one cash register in the Men's shoe department and after standing in line for about 15 minutes, the cashier tells me I must pay for the boots in the Women's shoe section. UGH! I then wait in another 15 minutes line, FINALLY go to pay for my boots and...my credit card is DECLINED!! So I try another credit card...declined AGAIN! Now I'm totally embarrassed and begin to call my credit card company when my sister calls me from upstairs and tells me her card was declined too! I decide to forget the boots (regretting that decision now) and go upstairs to help my poor sister. I go upstairs to find the manager of the store yelling at my sister, telling her that our credit limit is probably to low. I explain calmly to her that none of our credit cards are working and there is no way our credit limit is low, because the cards are in our parent's accounts. (Ok, pause, I know what you're thinking...spoiled little brats. But in our defense we were getting REALLY good designer stuff at REALLY good prices. If you have never been to a Century 21, I encourage you to go. That is, only if your credit card company approves...) After calling my credit card company 5 different times and having them tell me AND the store managers that there is not block on the credit cards, and that they should be working, the transaction finally goes through. The reason the credit cards didn't work the first 50 bajillion times? The cashier AND the manager forgot to put in the approval code when they ran the credit card. O MY F-ING GOD!!!!!!! Was wasting 45 minutes of my life dealing w/ morons worth a marc jacobs dress and two dolce and gabbana scarves? You bet your ass it was!!

-Kelsey

Ummm...

I would just like to say that I do NOT watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta, nore have I ever. Don't let Drake tell you his "girl roommates are rubbing off" on him. Lies. All of them lies. I came home from work to find him watching it by himself. And then when I tried to tell him a story (yes I know I tell a lot and often - but they are usually worth it right?), he actually paused the episode so as not to miss anything.

Feel free to judge...

- Caroline

PS - Don't throw High School Musical in my face, that is actually a national phenomenon.

Alright I admit it

I admit it. I've recently become addicted to the most ridiculous show in the world, The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's pathetic and true. I would love to say I beg you not to watch this show, but it is too hilarious not to tune in for an episode or eight.

I think my girl roommates are rubbing off on me. I'm in deep.

- Andrew

Our basement=scary as FUCK

I usually wait about 3-4 weeks to do my laundry in order to avoid going into our basement. I am TERRIFIED of our basement (I did have a traumatic experience down there once...someone shut off the light while I was doing laundry, hence my irrational fears about the basement)! Well, it's been 3 weeks (actually probably more) and my laundry has consumed half of Drake's and my bedroom. Today, I decided to venture into the basement to do my laundry. Of course, I made sure to bring a kitchen knife along, just in case. (You never know what kinds of ghosts/serial killers are lurking down there!) I sprinted down the basement stairs, threw my laundry into the washer as fast as I could, and sprinted back up the stairs...and tripped and fell on my ass. Go figure. Luckily I didn't land on the kitchen knife that was in my hand. That would have been bad news. So from now on, there will be no more sprinting with knives. And now I have to go back to the basement to change my laundry...FUCK!!!

xoxo,
Kelsey

Lil K vs Lil J

My Thoughts On The Situation

• I am pretty sure I live with special people
• Whenever Drake "cooks" it reeks of burnt shit
• At least I didn't have to answer the door this time with a beer-tini in my hand
• Why wasn't a new Gossip Girl on tonight?

- Caroline

BTW...

Firemen=HOTT!

These guys=not so much...:(

xoxo,
Kelsey

Consider the Source

So first of all.. consider the source. Jenny Humphrey (Kelsey)? Really? Since when is she believable?

Basically, I was cooking two burgers, because I was medium-hungry. I charred the edges, no big deal really. Also, Little K and I decided that it was best to keep the door and windows open as our stove majorly fogs up our apt.

Turns out that I set the apt building's fire alarm off. Chaos ensued. Like 20 people decided to go to the staircase and just stand around and pretend like they were making decisions. I came out, and gave them the scoop.

However, then I made the decision to call the fire department to make sure that they weren't coming to save us or something like that. Naturally, they told me that since I called them, THEY WERE OBLIGATED to come check things out. I said fine.. just expecting a pick-up truck with two gabronies to come check out the sit-u. NO NO. 2, count them 2 firetrucks came blazing down 14th Street to the scene of the crime.

This guy came up to the apt to check things out. He annoyed me, because he acted like I was putting him out by being there. Keep in mind I begged them not to come as the sit-u was all taken care of. No need to send the cavalry.

- Andrew

Kelsey's perspective of the events that took place on 11/24

I'm not really sure how to write a blog...the first thing I say to my roommates before writing this is "Ok, somebody help me be funny." Of course, I get rude remarks from them. We just figured out that the only people who will probably read this are Hallie (Drake's girlfriend) and Jorge (Kelsey and Drake's friend from home). Anyways, back to my day. Pretty typical, a visit to the OB GYN..where I paid $400 (fuck not having insurance) to have this old woman tell me that my vagina (sorry if that offends anyone) is perfectly normal. (Yay!) I also got a shot in my arm, ouch (charlie). Then I went to work. It was after work that things got interesting. I come home to find Drake "cooking." aka burning shit. He decides to open the door to get the smoke out and sets off the fire alarm. After calling the fire department to tell them NOT to come, a fire truck pulls up. The fire marshal comes up to our apartment and my first thought is "shit, I hope he doesn't find our..umm...illegal substances." Drake and Hallie are worried he will see the fire alarm we tore off the ceiling. Our minds are clearly in different places.

xoxo,
Kelsey

Joining the world of blogging

So clearly the blog-o-sphere is entirely too complicated for us. And spelling is too complicated for Kelsey. This whole creating a blog thing has been an ordeal. Currently this blog will be cut short because Caroline's not ready to commit. Be back in a few.